What Jessica Jones Can Teach Us About Abusive Relationships

Abusive relationships are a very real and very horrible problem in our society….Here is what Marvel’s Jessica Jones does to shine a light on this fact.

 

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So I’ve recently watched the TV show Jessica Jones and as I made my way through the show, I started to notice something about the antagonist of the show (played by actor David Tennant) I’ve seen signs on how the antagonist of the show, Kilgrave, though he has super powers, is actually an abuser.

 

Here is what I’ve noticed: In terms of abuse it seems her abusers approach was that of emotional abuse.

What is emotional abuse? It involves a regular pattern of verbal offense, threatening, bullying, and constant criticism, as well as more subtle tactics like intimidation, shaming and manipulation. Emotional abuse is used to control and subjugate the other person, and quite often it occurs because the abuser has childhood wounds and insecurities they haven’t dealt with — perhaps as a result of being abused themselves.

Yes, he has mind controlling powers but the way we have seen them being used, especially on this one character (and the side effects it all had on Jessica Jones) we have seen how he uses it to abuse and control people.

 

  • He is controlling in the sense of always needing to know where she is going, what she is going to be doing, taking her phone and making sure (by making threats he goes through with) she is back within certain time frames.

 

  • Her abuser also plays the victim. (common trait in most abusers) That the actual victim of the abuser is making them do things or something else made them do it. Like things are his victims fault. an example was a conversation in Episode 7 that Jones has with her abuser. (its a little later in the post) There was a time where he would make Jessica Jones hurt herself then make himself save her, pretending to protect her and be the hero or he would make statements such as: “You never appreciate anything I do for you.” making himself the victim and turning it around on Jones herself. Making her think he wasn’t doing anything wrong.

 

  • After her leaving him and getting out of his control, Kilgrave is dead set on finding her and has developed stalker like behaviors (which he probably had before to some extent). Taking photos of her, having others take photos of her and follow her (etc.) Which leads into my last point. Abusers isolate the victim of the abuse. In the scene I’m gonna share in a moment you see this play out in terms of the fact that her abuser is trying to isolate her from everyone she knows. (In this case, killing people close to her doesn’t stop this guy but this is a TV show and a super villain we are talking about in this sense.) In return he is telling her things, professing feelings for her and in result trying to make sure she is isolated and only hearing his words and his opinions.

*spoilers following as I am going to discuss the conversation in this specific scene*

Kilgrave: “I will admit to keeping eyes on you. Spies are easy to come by for me.”

Jones: “Do whatever you are going to do to me, but let them go.” (There is a hostage scene taking place here as Kilgrave is using his powers to hold a whole room of people hostage)

Kilgrave: “Well I have to protect myself so…”

Jones: “Then control me, not them.”

Kilgrave: “I have absolutely no intention of controlling you. I want you to act on your own accord.”

She (Jones) asks: “Act how? Suicide? Is that why you’ve been torturing me?”

Kilgrave, her abuser, then states: “*chuckles* Oh my God, Jessica, I knew you were insecure. That’s just sad. I’m not torturing you. Why would I? I love you.

 

The scene continues and Jones calls her abuser out on his actions calling them a ‘demented declaration of love.’ and how he ruined her life in this act. She couldn’t be any closer to the truth.

Her abuser then says he was trying to make her see “That I’m the only one who matches you… Who challenges you… Who’ll do anything for you.” – In any other case this might almost sound romantic because who doesn’t want to be with someone who will do anything for you or challenges you for the better? But as you can see its not romantic. Not in this sense. Not when he is stalking her, killing her friends and family (he killed a young man who claimed to love Jessica), and becoming obsessive….Trying to get her back.

He then becomes angry (he’s very short fused.) when someones cell phone rings and it interrupts his professing ‘eternal love’

 

 

 

Now sure, no one has superpowers either so this whole abusive situation might be over-dramatized for the show but I feel Marvel was clever in this sense. They took a mind controlling super villain and used him and his abilities to shine a light on abuse. What that looks like and how it might appear to the victim as well. You don’t have to have powers to control or harm someone. If you did this wouldn’t be a real problem, would it? But despite the fact that this character has powers it doesn’t change the fact that he is an abuser and I think Marvel did a really good job in conveying that and not portraying an antagonists actions as okay or somewhat acceptable as most media might convey things.

 

A to Z Challenge || Letter S: Soundtrack

Hello Readers!

SSo, I find it rather strange that this challenge is almost done…meaning April is on its way, making room for May to make a grand entrance! ( Which reminds me, Some fun stuff will be happening in May. Would you want to see a couple posts more about me and my life and stuff like that? If so, comment and let me know!)

So, today’s letter is S…and my chose word today is Soundtracks!

So, I LOVE using music when writing (Soundtracks or Lyrics. Whichever works for me) so I thought I would share some of my Spotify playlists I use for writing AND also this epic website a friend of mine created solely for writing/writing soundtracks.

Spotify Playlists!

So, I recently discovered spotify and I LOVE IT! (Look as me even using a website that matches with the letter theme for the post) I have a bunch of playlists made and a bunch I have discovered…So now I will share the links for said playlists with you all. To get to the soundtracks/playlists then just click the title of each one.

Playlist for MAHWS ~ Songs with lyrics that apply to characters and scenes 🙂

Writing Instrumentals/Soundtracks

Cutsie ❤ Playlist ~Cute love songs and such

 

SoundFuel – Music You Can’t Write Without

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SoundFuel was created by Leah Kathryn, an 18-year-old composer, author, and all around music-fanatic. 
Leah has possessed an intense love for orchestral film scores nearly all her life. As a classical pianist and composer, she appreciates the artistic quality of a good soundtrack, and has been known to like a film for strictly its music and nothing else.
She writes historical fiction primarily as well as fantasy, and has an incredibly vivid imagination. She believes the music can drive inspiration to an entire different level, maximizing the potential for creative output and productivity. With this in mind, SoundFuel was born.

SoundFuel is a constantly growing, constantly adapting collection of the best orchestral soundtrack music in the world. New tracks are added nearly every week, so there’s always something different to listen to!

If you are looking for the PERFECT Soundtrack to fit a certain theme/feel for a scene you are writing then this is the website to check out! Here is a list of the playlists so you know what to find! Click HERE to get to the playlists!

The Classics
Electro/Dubstep
Atmospheric Vocals (Soft Writing Music)
Civilized Melee
Hope/Musing/Reflection Writing Music
Negative Drive
Motivational Drive
Relaxed/Neutral Writing Music
1700s-1800s Era
Sorrow/Pensive Writing Music
Ethnic Emotional
High Energy Chase
Villainous
Oceanic and High Seas
Flight Inspired
Ethnic Action
Romance and Love
Medieval Fantasy
Hope/Inspiration/Uplifting/Happy Ending
Dystopian Era
Moment of Truth Writing Music
Epic Voyage/Journey
Suspense and Intrigue
Battle Scores
A Spring Dance Frolic
Asian Music
Celtic Music
Western Themed Writing Music
Steampunk
Southern Gothic

What I Learned from Failing a Novel

Hello Readers!

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As promised, I am here with a writing post for this week! (Its a day late, but better late than never, right?) I am, from this point on, going to get posts up the days they are supposed to….or I will try to the best of my abilities. 😀 So, I shall get on with it!

When I was about twelve years old, myself and my (then) best friend set out to change the world with our pens in an epic fantasy with a two sassy and painfully sarcastic vampires and a centaur who lived in a world where their people were enemies and they had to fight an evil vampire villainess who was named after a body of water.

This was going to be the best book ever. Dozens of original creatures with extremely impossible names to pronounce, ancient languages, elves, centaurs, vampires, dragons, mermaids, shapeshifters, goddess like strangers, a supposedly dead family member is found to be still alive. So much drama, so much action, fantasy and….so.many.cliches.

We worked on that novel for a very long time but it soon turned into a very long series that we just kept working on and kept going and going and going throwing millions of plot twists and characters and story lines and everything…..It was about a year and a half later and we had over two hundred pieces of lined paper that was the first book and about an additional 300+ pages that were the second and third books and random bits and pieces. We were very dedicated writers and we ere going to be famous authors once it was done. We were hoping the next big thing after Harry Potter…. Ha!

Yeah. I can hear you all through your computer screens laughing at me and my friend. What happened to this story (as in the material copy) I don’t know. I’m not sure whether it’s all sitting in my friends closet or she burned what she had like I did but despite it being a flop there are lots of things I learned from failing that novel.

As I wrote that book I was always going back and editing what I had done and fixing things. I also learned how to write a book. I learned dialogue technique, character development and learned to be creative.

Even though the novel itself was a fail I learned tons of things that I took into my next novel, and from that novel (which was also a fail…) I took what I learned from that into my next one and so on and so forth. But do you want to know the most important thing I learned from failing a novel?

I learned to write! That is the most important thing. Sure the novel might have been crap and I probably wrote impossible things (like most little kids do) or filled my story with cliches but the most important thing I learned from that novel was HOW to write. Because of that novel (that is probably a pile of ashes somewhere) I learned how to write. It was what eventually brought me to this point. To the point where I have a million stories in my head and to the point where I am going to seek publishing for my a novel of mine in the new year.

Sure, I look back at my old writing and cringe at how terrible it was (and you might do the same) but it’s a part of me, a part of you that got us, as writers, to the very point we are at now in our writing journeys. So, maybe you won’t get your first published or maybe you will never touch that one draft again because you hate it so much but while you wrote those, they moved you forward in what you learned and improved your writing technique and voice and that’s why, you can learn a lot from the novels you have written and that have failed.

Until Next Time,

Adriana Gabrielle