What Jessica Jones Can Teach Us About Abusive Relationships

Abusive relationships are a very real and very horrible problem in our society….Here is what Marvel’s Jessica Jones does to shine a light on this fact.

 

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So I’ve recently watched the TV show Jessica Jones and as I made my way through the show, I started to notice something about the antagonist of the show (played by actor David Tennant) I’ve seen signs on how the antagonist of the show, Kilgrave, though he has super powers, is actually an abuser.

 

Here is what I’ve noticed: In terms of abuse it seems her abusers approach was that of emotional abuse.

What is emotional abuse? It involves a regular pattern of verbal offense, threatening, bullying, and constant criticism, as well as more subtle tactics like intimidation, shaming and manipulation. Emotional abuse is used to control and subjugate the other person, and quite often it occurs because the abuser has childhood wounds and insecurities they haven’t dealt with — perhaps as a result of being abused themselves.

Yes, he has mind controlling powers but the way we have seen them being used, especially on this one character (and the side effects it all had on Jessica Jones) we have seen how he uses it to abuse and control people.

 

  • He is controlling in the sense of always needing to know where she is going, what she is going to be doing, taking her phone and making sure (by making threats he goes through with) she is back within certain time frames.

 

  • Her abuser also plays the victim. (common trait in most abusers) That the actual victim of the abuser is making them do things or something else made them do it. Like things are his victims fault. an example was a conversation in Episode 7 that Jones has with her abuser. (its a little later in the post) There was a time where he would make Jessica Jones hurt herself then make himself save her, pretending to protect her and be the hero or he would make statements such as: “You never appreciate anything I do for you.” making himself the victim and turning it around on Jones herself. Making her think he wasn’t doing anything wrong.

 

  • After her leaving him and getting out of his control, Kilgrave is dead set on finding her and has developed stalker like behaviors (which he probably had before to some extent). Taking photos of her, having others take photos of her and follow her (etc.) Which leads into my last point. Abusers isolate the victim of the abuse. In the scene I’m gonna share in a moment you see this play out in terms of the fact that her abuser is trying to isolate her from everyone she knows. (In this case, killing people close to her doesn’t stop this guy but this is a TV show and a super villain we are talking about in this sense.) In return he is telling her things, professing feelings for her and in result trying to make sure she is isolated and only hearing his words and his opinions.

*spoilers following as I am going to discuss the conversation in this specific scene*

Kilgrave: “I will admit to keeping eyes on you. Spies are easy to come by for me.”

Jones: “Do whatever you are going to do to me, but let them go.” (There is a hostage scene taking place here as Kilgrave is using his powers to hold a whole room of people hostage)

Kilgrave: “Well I have to protect myself so…”

Jones: “Then control me, not them.”

Kilgrave: “I have absolutely no intention of controlling you. I want you to act on your own accord.”

She (Jones) asks: “Act how? Suicide? Is that why you’ve been torturing me?”

Kilgrave, her abuser, then states: “*chuckles* Oh my God, Jessica, I knew you were insecure. That’s just sad. I’m not torturing you. Why would I? I love you.

 

The scene continues and Jones calls her abuser out on his actions calling them a ‘demented declaration of love.’ and how he ruined her life in this act. She couldn’t be any closer to the truth.

Her abuser then says he was trying to make her see “That I’m the only one who matches you… Who challenges you… Who’ll do anything for you.” – In any other case this might almost sound romantic because who doesn’t want to be with someone who will do anything for you or challenges you for the better? But as you can see its not romantic. Not in this sense. Not when he is stalking her, killing her friends and family (he killed a young man who claimed to love Jessica), and becoming obsessive….Trying to get her back.

He then becomes angry (he’s very short fused.) when someones cell phone rings and it interrupts his professing ‘eternal love’

 

 

 

Now sure, no one has superpowers either so this whole abusive situation might be over-dramatized for the show but I feel Marvel was clever in this sense. They took a mind controlling super villain and used him and his abilities to shine a light on abuse. What that looks like and how it might appear to the victim as well. You don’t have to have powers to control or harm someone. If you did this wouldn’t be a real problem, would it? But despite the fact that this character has powers it doesn’t change the fact that he is an abuser and I think Marvel did a really good job in conveying that and not portraying an antagonists actions as okay or somewhat acceptable as most media might convey things.

 

Beautiful Books #1 || Introduce Your Novel

Hello Readers!

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I figured that, since I’m doing NaNoWriMo this year that I should probably tell you what my novel is about. I mentioned it a while back and did a few Beautiful People Tag posts about my FMC buuut that was a while ago and some things have changed so that can all just be put aside and I’ll get around to redoing them later or something…

 

What Is Beautiful Books?

Beautiful Books is a writerly blog linkup event, focused on NaNoWriMo novels. This blog linkup is created by Cait @ Paperfury and Sky @ Further Up and Further In. It was designed with NaNoWriMo in mind. NaNoWriMo is a writing event where you write a 50,000 word novel in a month. But you can do it for ANY novel if you’re not a NaNo participant.

Before I start here is a collage I made for my novel that I wanted to share because I can:

Blood In These Waters

 

Questions:

1. How did you come up with the idea for your novel, and how long have you had the idea?

So I have this part of my mind that thinks I’m a mermaid but the catch is that I am afraid of the water…(Like terrified) and I was thinking on it one day (cause why not?) and the thought came to me. ‘Why would a mermaid be terrified of the waters she grew up in?’ and honestly it branched off from there. I’ve had this idea floating around in my head for maybe 6 months now but I’d just been waiting for the right opportunity to write it and I write fantasy novels better when doing NaNoWriMo…Why I don’t know but I can prove it 😛

 

2. Why are you excited to write this novel?

Because who doesn’t wanna write a retelling of a dark story that has Mermaids in it? I mean I’ve based the mermaids/sirens off what they are like in most mythology (some vary depending where the myth originated from and such) and I just love mermaids so thats my reasoning. Nothing more than my love for mermaids and the original Little Mermaid story.

 

3. What is your novel about, and what is the title?

Well. As I said it’s a little mermaid retelling (or its supposed to turn out as such haha) called ‘Blood in these Waters,’ and I have a little synopsis but it hardly does it justice so I will explain it instead 😄

So Blood In These Waters is a (dark) little mermaid retelling and basically in this novel everyone dies. Humans and Mer and slaughtering each other in a fight for the ocean waters and many Mer are taking revenge on the humans by becoming them and luring the humans to their death…..it’s gonna be interesting….and sad. And much character death will happen.

The story follows a mermaid/siren named Caspia and she, along with some of her sisters and friends, joined the humans on land, pretending to be one of them but no matter how hard she tries, she can’t make herself return to the ocean. Something scared her out of the water and leaves her stranded on land where it slowly kills her.

 

So as I said. Much death.

 
4. Sum up your characters in one word each. (Feel free to add pictures!)

I’m still gathering my cast of characters as I’m finishing that area of plotting BUT I have 3 main characters so lets do this.

Caspia:Caspia

Bitter

 

Owen: Owen

Lost

 

Pearl: Pearl

Bubbly

 

5. Which character(s) do you think will be your favourite to write?

I’m already freakishly excited to write Caspia’s character. She is bitter and angry but I will also get to show (at some point) her soft side and much pain and feels will be inflicted upon me for falling in love with this character but oh well. That’s the fun of it, right?

 

 

6. What is your protagonist’s goal, and what stands in the way?

Her goal is to get revenge on humans and do whatever she has to to stop them from invading the oceans and leave the Mer alone. What stands in the way is that her own fear has trapped her on land and there is not much she can do to stop the humans any longer while on land. (My own character hates me cause I’m human so this is quite interesting. Trust me. 😉 😛 )

 

7. Where is your novel set? 

I honestly don’t know yet….I’m thinking Hawaii but I feel thats very overdone so I don’t really know yet. I’m working on it….Anyone have any ideas/suggestions?

 

8. What is the most important relationship your character has?

The relationship with her sister Adria probably. Its the only relationship that means something to her.

 

9. How does your protagonist change by the end of the novel?

Well. She dies so…

 

10. What themes are in your book? How do you want your readers to feel when the story is over?

WELL. That I haven’t really thought on yet…but I know readers will be feeling all the feels by the end. ( I hope)…I may have to revisit this question later. I’m still in the plotting stages of some/most of the stuff (cause I’m lazy and haven’t been working on it as much as I should be…) so yeah…

 

11. BONUS! Tell us your 3 best pieces of advice for others trying to write a book in a month.

Oh! Oh! I got this I got this!

#1- Even if your writing feels like crap, don’t stop.

 

#2- Put tape or something over your backspace button when you write. DO NOT use the evil backspace button. I don’t care if you think that paragraph you wrote sucks. Ignore it and keep writing. You can come back and fix it later. (Later being after you’ve written all you need/want for the day OR when you finish NaNo) I used this technique last year and it actually helped me out cause then by covering the button I told myself I wasn’t going to go back and just keep writing.

 

#3-HAVE FUN. Yes, winning NaNo is fun but don’t lose sight of the fact that this isn’t a competition. People won’t make fun of you or dislike you cause you didn’t reach the 50k. Just have fun with it all ok?

 

 

So that’s my post! Hope you like it!

Until Next Time,

Adriana G.

Beautiful People #10 || Parental Edition

Hello Readers! Now, before I begin this wonderful linkup post I thought I would give you a little update on what will be happening on this blog up until the 19th…. Ready for it?

Nothing….Nothing will be happening very much over here until the 19th which is the last day of Final Exams. I will have a Spotlight Saturday post going up and a Book review on the 15th…but other than that, you can expect that things will be a little bit slow around here until I’m free from the clutches of school work, finals and studying. Now, with that said, ON WITH THE POST.

But FIRST. A commercial break…

Beautiful People is a linkup brought to you by Cait@Paper Fury and Sky@Further Up and Further In and is a linkup designed for you to develop your characters while having fun and sharing these lovely characters with the world.

 

Now that that is over….Time for the post!

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So, today I am switching it up and I’m going to share a little bit about my FMC’s parents from my novel Holding On To Grace (In which I will be finalizing for Querying in the late summer or early fall.)

So, this is my baby, Billie Crane. She is 17 years old, is kinda my favourite, and super adorable.

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Now, I’m sure I’ve told you about Billie in the past, but, instead of giving you all her background story first, I will just have her answer the questions for you and the pieces should fit together. So let’s do this 🙂

 

So, Billie. Do you know both your biological parents?

Billie: *nods* Yes…Of course I do.

 

Why aren’t you with them now?

Well, I havent seen Mum for a long time now…But I left home. That’s why I havent seen Dad.

 

Why havent you seen your mother? Did your parents separate?

No…Mum died when I was ten.
Right…I’m sorry about that…

 

What? I am! *cough* So, have you inherited any physical resemblances from your parents?

People always tell me I look like my Mum but I’m not sure I do…I think I look like Dad…But I think people miss Mum. Thats why they say I look like her…

 

I suppose that could be the case…So who are you staying with now? Have they become parental figures to you at all? Or are they just means of a shelter?

I’m staying with my Aunt and Uncle…They are extremely supportive and help me a lot with…stuff.

 

Right. So, What’s are your Aunt and Uncles dress style? I mean you are living with them so…

Wait, What?

 

I don’t know. It’s one of the questions I’m supposed to ask…

Oh…Well I don’t really know. All I know is that they dress really nicely. havent payed much attention to actual details. I know my aunt wears a lot of Pink and black clothing…You know like, black yoga pants with a pink shirt or something…

 

Would you say you share any personality traits with your Aunt and Uncle?

No. My Aunt and Uncle are very social people who always take a leading role with stuff…I’m not like that.

 

You can be…You don’t think so but you can be like that.

Do you get on with your Aunt and Uncle or no?

I get along with my Aunt better than my Uncle. But I get along with both pretty well I guess..

 

Could you describe both your Aunt and Uncle in one word?

My Aunt I would say is ‘Friendly’

And my Uncle is…well an ‘Entertainer’
Now, I know your Aunt and Uncle have helped you a ton, but how have your Aunt and Uncle helped you most in your life, Billie?

Just by taking me in. They didn’t know me very well but they took me in anyways.
What was your biggest fight with your Aunt and Uncle?

When my Aunt registered me in school again I put up a big fight…

 

That’s all the info you’re gonna give us?

Yes…

 

Okay then…Tracing back your family tree, what nationalities are in your ancestry?

I’m not sure…All I know is Dad was from the states somewhere and my Grandma was british…
Right. Okay. So, last question then you can go.

Okay….

 

What’s your favourite memory with your Aunt and Uncle?

I’m not really sure…I have a lot of good memories with them…

 

Good enough of an answer for me. Thanks for cooperating, Billie.

You’re welcome. *leaves*

 

So! That’s this months linkup! Hope you enjoyed it! If you want to know what Billie’s story is about, you can head over to my WIP’s page and find my whole synopsis for the novel there AND the link to the Pinterest Story Board 😀

 

Until Next Time!

Adriana Gabrielle

Valentines Day Tag

Hello Readers!

Before I start I want to wish you all a very Happy Valentines Day! Hope it is a wonderful one and you are all enjoying much chocolate and goodies.

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So, Rachel W. over at Secret Scribblings created this tag and I figured it would be appropriate to do the post today (instead of doing it yesterday like I was going to) on Valentines Day since it is a Valentine’s Day tag after all. So, there was no official photo for this tag so I am adding my own! (Don’t judge me, y’all)

*Oh looks. Ish mah face*

*Oh look. Ish mah face*

The Rules:

Answer the questions (obviously)
Tag whoever you want (no limits on how many people you tag)
Link back to the person who tagged you

The Questions:

1. Are you currently in a relationship? (if this one is too personal, it can be skipped)
2. Do you consider Valentine’s Day a Big Deal?
3. Do you like flowers? If yes, what kind? If no, why?
4. What’s your favorite kind of chocolate?
5. What’s you LEAST favorite kind of chocolate?
6. Date night! Would you prefer to go to a fancy restaurant or go somewhere more laid-back? Or order in?
7. Stuffed bears! They’re cute, they’re cuddly, they keep you safe from nighttime monsters. If your significant other got you one for Valentines, would you think it was ridiculous, funny, or cute? (the act, not the bear)
8. Favorite romantic-type book?
9. Favorite romantic movie?
10. What’s your love language (physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gifts)? 

 

My Answers:

1. Are you currently in a relationship? (if this one is too personal, it can be skipped)

Heheh Nope. I’m a single pringle, yo!
2. Do you consider Valentine’s Day a Big Deal?

Not really 😛 Most times I even forget to give out actual Valentines…. I’m so terrible, I know. Usually I just make one for each of my siblings and maybe a couple for one or two of my friends. (Except this year I’ve kinda forgotten…Oopsie)
3. Do you like flowers? If yes, what kind? If no, why?

I LOVE flowers! Seriously one of the things to make me happiest would be to give me flowers! I love them. It literally breaks my heart when the flowers die though. If I had a superpower it would be something to do with the earth element so I could keep flowers and plants alive for a very long time…anyways as for what kinds of flowers I’m not picky. I just love flowers so, if you give me flowers I will love them. (and be very very sad when the flowers die)
4. What’s your favorite kind of chocolate?

As long as its not dark chocolate, its my favourite…
5. What’s you LEAST favorite kind of chocolate?

Refer back to question #4. I also don’t like the chocolate with the fruit pieces in them. I feel like its cheating, Like come on. I’m eating chocolate STOP TRYING TO ADD A HEALTHY FACTOR TO IT AND RUIN MY CHOCOLATE….. *ahem* sorry about that…
6. Date night! Would you prefer to go to a fancy restaurant or go somewhere more laid-back? Or order in?

I think I would want to do something where on a date night, pizza would be ordered and movies would be watched 😛
7. Stuffed bears! They’re cute, they’re cuddly, they keep you safe from nighttime monsters. If your significant other got you one for Valentines, would you think it was ridiculous, funny, or cute? (the act, not the bear)

I would find it so cute!! Like seriously, so cute…. ❤
8. Favorite romantic-type book?

Hmmm. Not really sure on that one to be honest. So many good ones to pick from!
9. Favorite romantic movie?

Pride and Prejudice! Seriously just SO MUCH LOVE for that movie.(The version with Keira Knightley ) It is the best, most adorable, most well done movie ever! Love it so much! (Yes, I’m watching it today…. )
10. What’s your love language (physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, gifts)? 

I would say that mine is probably either gifts (especially when its books 😉 just kidding. Just gifts of any kind) or words of affirmation….Idk which would be first but either one of those two.

 

So, thats it for the questions section of the tag! Now to tag people..Hmmm…

I tag:

Rachel Day @ Stained Glass Windows || Cait @ Paperfury || Ana @ Butterflies of the Imagination ||  Aimee @ To The Barricade! ||