Long Distance Relationships – The Real Thing ft. My Boyfriend

So fun fact about me: I’m in a long distance relationship. This is a collab post with my boyfriend to give you a little insight to what that might be like.

Hiiiiiiii I’m Boyfriend

Also by the way, so there is no confusion as to who is talking as it’s a collaborative post between Kolton and I, if you see colored text then it’s my boyfriend.

 

xe3taor8nf

 

So I figure I should start off this post telling you a bit about how Kolton and I met. We actually didn’t meet until almost a year after we met…if that makes any sense at all. (She means in person) Kolton and I first met through our school board. We were both in an online homeschooling program for high school and that’s how we ‘met.’

 

Okay. So Adriana didn’t tell the whole story here.

 

Well sorry. Was trying to give you the opportunity to do some storytelling here too…

 

Yeah yeah sure you were. Okay, so here is the real story about how we ‘met’. So one day after I was done my classes, one of my friends and I decided to see how many people we could invite to a group chat before the system crashed. (#thejoysofonlineschooling ) I’m fairly certain we had over 50 people in the chat. Nevertheless, Adriana was one of the people who got invited. The chat was complete chaos but someone mentioned Skyrim (a game both Adriana and I love) and we went onto a private chat and started talking and we have been talking every single day since then. THERE THAT IS THE STORY!!!!

 

Well…That’s the story (basically) of how we met summed up. We didn’t meet in person until May 2015 (a little over 6 months after we first started talking) at a youth conference called YC and the rest is history basically. You will kinda figure out a little bit more as this post goes on but today, Kolton and I wanted to talk to you about what (for us) a long distance relationship looks like.

 

 

So one thing we wanted to discuss is: What does our relationship looks like on a daily basis?

  • Lots and lots of text messages and lovey dovey emoji 
  • Random and spontaneous video chats.
  • Constantly missing the other person and hoping that they are doing well.
  • Wondering if the other person misses you as much as you miss them.
  • Days we do get together are either meticulously planned or consist of no planning what so ever there is no in between.

 

 

What have you learned from being in a long distance relationship?

Well in all honesty, Kolton and I have only been dating since June but I mean we have known each other for about two years now and have liked each other for a fair chunk of that time. We both just decided not to rush into a relationship as when we met he lived 16 hours north of where I lived.

Here is a list of Pros and Cons we put together to show what we have learned from a LDR.

Pro:

  • The time we spend together is special and greatly cherished as it is few and far between whereas if we lived a lot closer we would spend more time together and it wouldn’t be as big of a thing when we spend time together (if that makes sense)

Con:

  • The amount of times we see each other is very little compared to seeing each other all the time if we lived in the same place. In result it makes things very difficult. (since we started dating we have seen each other twice once near the end of summer and once in the middle october)

 

 

Pro:

  • You talk a lot and communicate very well. In that sense you’re able to build a stronger relationship with each other over time because of the distance and the constant communication.

Con:

  • Sometimes you just really don’t care about the ‘stronger’ relationship aspect of distance because you just want your boyfriend/girlfriend right here, right now and you wanted them here yesterday

 

 

 

Pro:

  • As many of you probably know Adriana is a Christian, and no one probably knows that I am a Christian as well. This is something that we both were looking for in a partner and something I would not have been able to find without going into a Long distance relationship.

Con:

  • The only con for that one ( ^^) is really just ‘Long Distance’ HAHA

 

 

Something I get asked often (I can’t speak for Kolton) is that people have asked me why I chose to be in a long distance relationship and how I manage it… So before we end this post I just wanna highlight that aspect. 🙂

 

 

So how do you do it? It must be sooooooooooooooo hard.

I honestly love when I get asked if I have a boyfriend. Why?

      1. Because I get to brag about my boyfriend and how awesome he is

And

  1. I get to watch the shock and horror on their face when I tell them I’m in a long distance relationship…. Especially when Kolton and I lived 16 hours from each other. People’s reactions were priceless! They literally resemble something like this GIF I posted below:

giphy


I choose a long distance relationship because to me it’s not about where the person you love is to me it’s about who you love and my girlfriend has the qualities that I have found to be extraordinarily attractive and ones that in this world are found few and far between. I have fallen in love with her and she is one in which i see myself to have a future with beyond dating (which should be the real true reason you date someone
(truth)) and to be it’s a huge bonus that she is super attractive. *winky face*

Long distance may be hard but if you find the right person at the end of the day it is totally worth it. No matter if you are 2 hours apart or 20 however much you put into the relationship that is what you are going to get out of it. If you truly like or love this person and you truly see a future with them you will make it work similar to people in a ‘normal’ relationship. You cherish the time you spend together and you await the next visit. The final thing you do is hope for the day when you never have to be a part again. That’s what Adriana and I do. Isn’t that right, babe?   

Totally true. Also I know that I personally get the question a ton about how we make it work and really it’s the same as what any relationship should be like. You put in what you get out of it. (I already made that point you nugget) With the long distance, he and I have to make that extra effort to communicate and just make our relationship work BUT I feel like it should be the same in any relationship no matter the difference. Really the only difference between a LDR is just the long distance. Really everything else is and should be the same as any other relationship.

When Things Don’t Go As Planned

Over the past few weeks I’ve come to realise that things so far haven’t gone how I planned. But I guess things never really do…A photo by Rosalind Chang. unsplash.com/photos/qtIsUwoP94s

 

I’m a planner. I plan things and I make lists… I guess you could say i’m a ‘lister’ (only some of you are going to get this and that’s okay)

 

So when things didn’t/don’t or aren’t going as I hoped and planned I often feel lost and/or frustrated.

Why do I do this? Why do I make lists all the time if it frustrates me half the time?

Because it helps me feel like I have MORE control over my life than I actually do.

 

As much as I wish that my lists and planning just went how I wanted I know that’s not how life works. I can pout and be miserable about it but it doesn’t change that fact. So I’ve actually started moving away from planning every little thing in my life and just ‘going with the flow.’ Things like being with my friends and my boyfriend has made me realise the importance of just letting things happen and the relief and relaxation that comes with it.

Learning to just LIVE in the MOMENT. 

 

I’ve learned this all when it comes to my everyday life as well. (Not just more important or significant days or events in my life) ESPECIALLY during my move and the transition to moving and being in a new place. Only now as I’m slowly starting to feel like myself again after feeling not very much like myself (in this transition of moving and a new job.) as, once again, things didn’t go as I planned.

 

I still haven’t really made any friends and being more introverted is also part of my problem. But this is causing problems cause I’m getting bored and stressed out in my own tiny apartment. Adjustment is a lot harder than I EVER would have thought. It feels I’m climbing a mountain I don’t want to be or stuck in some hole going in circles over and over and over again.

 

But despite this all I’ve learned to just trust in God (I’m gonna share the lyrics to a song that’s been helping me a lot at the end of this post) and that my moving here is all part of some plan and as much as I wish I could just make a list to sort it out, I know I can’t and I have to be patient.

 

Lean on God and just let life be…

 

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When You don’t move the mountains
I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters
I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers
As I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust
I will trust in You

Truth is You know what tomorrow brings
There’s not a day ahead You have not seen
So in all things be my life and breath
I want what You want Lord and nothing less

~Trust in You by Lauren Daigle

Thus Begins A New Chapter

As one chapter comes to an end, another begins.

write

I feel like this last week has been me adulting like crazy.

I’ve been meeting with some of my best friends.

I’ve been setting up power and internet stuff.

I’ve been buying furniture and dishes.

I’ve been trying to change my cell phone plan to better fit this next step in life and SO much more.

 

Why?

 

Because I’m moving.

Away from home.

To a new job.

With a new apartment.

 

I will still be around and blogging so don’t worry about that 😉 but yeah. I’m moving. I’ve been living with my giant lovable family for 19 years so this is a weird experience for me as I’m also moving 6 hours away from my family. I’m gonna miss them like crazy but I’m thankful for technology so we can talk frequently and stay connected but I’m also so excited.

I’ll  be moving in with me bookworm, writer and nerdy fangirl bestie so that will make the transition a little easier so thats exciting. (Our tea and book collection combined will be envied by all for sure.) I’ll be moving to a new town and away from the nosy people I’ve had major run ins in town this summer. (#villagelife)

But by moving to a new town it means I’ll (once again saying it) be far from my really good friends, my family, and my church family. I know I will meet new people but I know that even when I do, they won’t ever replace the people I have met here.

The people who have impacted and changed my life.

It’s kinda what I’ve been dwelling on but I know that I’m not leaving forever and so my family and my friends who have become my family will see me again. With that I just want to say this:

No matter where you go, your family and friends will still be with you. Their love goes with you wherever you go. SO if you are called to go across the world then go. Or if you are called to move across town then go. If you are called to another town, city, or village, then GO.

Just do it.

Go.

Have fun. Enjoy life and know that as this new chapter in your life begins that the people you know and love go with you in your heart.