Loving Who God Made You To Be

Hello there lovelies!

Today we have a guest post from my friend Cori. She was one of the first people to volunteer to write a blog post for this new blog post series I wanna do throughout the year and I LOVE what she has to say.

I hope you all receive some encouragement from this lovely gals words of wisdom.

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Well, it’s a new year again and our social media is filled with “New year new me” posts and new years resolutions that will last a couple of weeks.  Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t see anything wrong with trying to better yourself, but when its all about me, me, me I think we might just be missing the point. My resolution is to grow closer to Christ and to love who He made me.
        The world tells us that it is all about you. You do you. You only live once. I agree to make the most of your life but when your life revolves around you and you only that isn’t exactly what God has planned. God tells us to live humbly and to always put your neighbor before yourself. He tells us to give a homeless man the clothes off our backs if he doesn’t have any. He tells us to pray for our enemies and love them no matter the harm they’ve caused you.  That may not be very easy, but that is what we are called to. There is a difference between loving who God made you and being a self centered jerk
        Now my life hasn’t been that easy. I was sexually abused, I’ve harmed myself and did for many years, and I even attempted suicide. Growing up I’ve had major self esteem problems.  I would look at myself in the mirror and hate everything about my reflection. I would cry at night because I wasn’t good enough for society or even myself. It wasn’t until recently, actually, that I realized  I wasn’t living how God had planned. It took a mental hospital being waved over my head for me to finally get my act together.  My point is this: God made you who you are for a reason and you are perfectly and wonderfully made. He planned out every inch of you, beautifully, inside of your mother and God, the God of the universe, does not make mistakes. (Psalms 139:13-18)
        Now I pray that in this new year you learn to love yourself for who God made you. Not for what the world wants you to be. Serve your Lord with all your heart soul and mind and love every bit of yourself because the creator of everything there ever was and is to come made you and that is pretty amazing if you think about it.
    Now I still deal with all of these things today. I am not saying that life is gonna be a bundle of joy on a sunny day. Life sucks, there’s no other way to put it, but it is so much easier to have hope and to love who God made you to be then to dwell on things and to try to be this perfect person society makes the standard out to be. You will never be perfect. You will never be “Good enough” , but you know what? That’s why Christ died for us. So that in Him we are good enough and always will be. God doesn’t look at us for all the bad things we have done.  He looks at us as perfect, just as He made us perfectly.

“Lord help me to love who You made me to be. Help me serve you in any way that i can in this new year. I pray that in the new year i grow spiritually and grow to love others more than myself, thank you for all these blessings, i pray that my self esteem will be high this year. In your name I pray , Amen.”

Yours Truly,
Cori Heck

What Jessica Jones Can Teach Us About Abusive Relationships

Abusive relationships are a very real and very horrible problem in our society….Here is what Marvel’s Jessica Jones does to shine a light on this fact.

 

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So I’ve recently watched the TV show Jessica Jones and as I made my way through the show, I started to notice something about the antagonist of the show (played by actor David Tennant) I’ve seen signs on how the antagonist of the show, Kilgrave, though he has super powers, is actually an abuser.

 

Here is what I’ve noticed: In terms of abuse it seems her abusers approach was that of emotional abuse.

What is emotional abuse? It involves a regular pattern of verbal offense, threatening, bullying, and constant criticism, as well as more subtle tactics like intimidation, shaming and manipulation. Emotional abuse is used to control and subjugate the other person, and quite often it occurs because the abuser has childhood wounds and insecurities they haven’t dealt with — perhaps as a result of being abused themselves.

Yes, he has mind controlling powers but the way we have seen them being used, especially on this one character (and the side effects it all had on Jessica Jones) we have seen how he uses it to abuse and control people.

 

  • He is controlling in the sense of always needing to know where she is going, what she is going to be doing, taking her phone and making sure (by making threats he goes through with) she is back within certain time frames.

 

  • Her abuser also plays the victim. (common trait in most abusers) That the actual victim of the abuser is making them do things or something else made them do it. Like things are his victims fault. an example was a conversation in Episode 7 that Jones has with her abuser. (its a little later in the post) There was a time where he would make Jessica Jones hurt herself then make himself save her, pretending to protect her and be the hero or he would make statements such as: “You never appreciate anything I do for you.” making himself the victim and turning it around on Jones herself. Making her think he wasn’t doing anything wrong.

 

  • After her leaving him and getting out of his control, Kilgrave is dead set on finding her and has developed stalker like behaviors (which he probably had before to some extent). Taking photos of her, having others take photos of her and follow her (etc.) Which leads into my last point. Abusers isolate the victim of the abuse. In the scene I’m gonna share in a moment you see this play out in terms of the fact that her abuser is trying to isolate her from everyone she knows. (In this case, killing people close to her doesn’t stop this guy but this is a TV show and a super villain we are talking about in this sense.) In return he is telling her things, professing feelings for her and in result trying to make sure she is isolated and only hearing his words and his opinions.

*spoilers following as I am going to discuss the conversation in this specific scene*

Kilgrave: “I will admit to keeping eyes on you. Spies are easy to come by for me.”

Jones: “Do whatever you are going to do to me, but let them go.” (There is a hostage scene taking place here as Kilgrave is using his powers to hold a whole room of people hostage)

Kilgrave: “Well I have to protect myself so…”

Jones: “Then control me, not them.”

Kilgrave: “I have absolutely no intention of controlling you. I want you to act on your own accord.”

She (Jones) asks: “Act how? Suicide? Is that why you’ve been torturing me?”

Kilgrave, her abuser, then states: “*chuckles* Oh my God, Jessica, I knew you were insecure. That’s just sad. I’m not torturing you. Why would I? I love you.

 

The scene continues and Jones calls her abuser out on his actions calling them a ‘demented declaration of love.’ and how he ruined her life in this act. She couldn’t be any closer to the truth.

Her abuser then says he was trying to make her see “That I’m the only one who matches you… Who challenges you… Who’ll do anything for you.” – In any other case this might almost sound romantic because who doesn’t want to be with someone who will do anything for you or challenges you for the better? But as you can see its not romantic. Not in this sense. Not when he is stalking her, killing her friends and family (he killed a young man who claimed to love Jessica), and becoming obsessive….Trying to get her back.

He then becomes angry (he’s very short fused.) when someones cell phone rings and it interrupts his professing ‘eternal love’

 

 

 

Now sure, no one has superpowers either so this whole abusive situation might be over-dramatized for the show but I feel Marvel was clever in this sense. They took a mind controlling super villain and used him and his abilities to shine a light on abuse. What that looks like and how it might appear to the victim as well. You don’t have to have powers to control or harm someone. If you did this wouldn’t be a real problem, would it? But despite the fact that this character has powers it doesn’t change the fact that he is an abuser and I think Marvel did a really good job in conveying that and not portraying an antagonists actions as okay or somewhat acceptable as most media might convey things.

 

When Things Don’t Go As Planned

Over the past few weeks I’ve come to realise that things so far haven’t gone how I planned. But I guess things never really do…A photo by Rosalind Chang. unsplash.com/photos/qtIsUwoP94s

 

I’m a planner. I plan things and I make lists… I guess you could say i’m a ‘lister’ (only some of you are going to get this and that’s okay)

 

So when things didn’t/don’t or aren’t going as I hoped and planned I often feel lost and/or frustrated.

Why do I do this? Why do I make lists all the time if it frustrates me half the time?

Because it helps me feel like I have MORE control over my life than I actually do.

 

As much as I wish that my lists and planning just went how I wanted I know that’s not how life works. I can pout and be miserable about it but it doesn’t change that fact. So I’ve actually started moving away from planning every little thing in my life and just ‘going with the flow.’ Things like being with my friends and my boyfriend has made me realise the importance of just letting things happen and the relief and relaxation that comes with it.

Learning to just LIVE in the MOMENT. 

 

I’ve learned this all when it comes to my everyday life as well. (Not just more important or significant days or events in my life) ESPECIALLY during my move and the transition to moving and being in a new place. Only now as I’m slowly starting to feel like myself again after feeling not very much like myself (in this transition of moving and a new job.) as, once again, things didn’t go as I planned.

 

I still haven’t really made any friends and being more introverted is also part of my problem. But this is causing problems cause I’m getting bored and stressed out in my own tiny apartment. Adjustment is a lot harder than I EVER would have thought. It feels I’m climbing a mountain I don’t want to be or stuck in some hole going in circles over and over and over again.

 

But despite this all I’ve learned to just trust in God (I’m gonna share the lyrics to a song that’s been helping me a lot at the end of this post) and that my moving here is all part of some plan and as much as I wish I could just make a list to sort it out, I know I can’t and I have to be patient.

 

Lean on God and just let life be…

 

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When You don’t move the mountains
I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters
I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers
As I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust
I will trust in You

Truth is You know what tomorrow brings
There’s not a day ahead You have not seen
So in all things be my life and breath
I want what You want Lord and nothing less

~Trust in You by Lauren Daigle

A to Z Challenge || Letter S: Soundtrack

Hello Readers!

SSo, I find it rather strange that this challenge is almost done…meaning April is on its way, making room for May to make a grand entrance! ( Which reminds me, Some fun stuff will be happening in May. Would you want to see a couple posts more about me and my life and stuff like that? If so, comment and let me know!)

So, today’s letter is S…and my chose word today is Soundtracks!

So, I LOVE using music when writing (Soundtracks or Lyrics. Whichever works for me) so I thought I would share some of my Spotify playlists I use for writing AND also this epic website a friend of mine created solely for writing/writing soundtracks.

Spotify Playlists!

So, I recently discovered spotify and I LOVE IT! (Look as me even using a website that matches with the letter theme for the post) I have a bunch of playlists made and a bunch I have discovered…So now I will share the links for said playlists with you all. To get to the soundtracks/playlists then just click the title of each one.

Playlist for MAHWS ~ Songs with lyrics that apply to characters and scenes 🙂

Writing Instrumentals/Soundtracks

Cutsie ❤ Playlist ~Cute love songs and such

 

SoundFuel – Music You Can’t Write Without

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SoundFuel was created by Leah Kathryn, an 18-year-old composer, author, and all around music-fanatic. 
Leah has possessed an intense love for orchestral film scores nearly all her life. As a classical pianist and composer, she appreciates the artistic quality of a good soundtrack, and has been known to like a film for strictly its music and nothing else.
She writes historical fiction primarily as well as fantasy, and has an incredibly vivid imagination. She believes the music can drive inspiration to an entire different level, maximizing the potential for creative output and productivity. With this in mind, SoundFuel was born.

SoundFuel is a constantly growing, constantly adapting collection of the best orchestral soundtrack music in the world. New tracks are added nearly every week, so there’s always something different to listen to!

If you are looking for the PERFECT Soundtrack to fit a certain theme/feel for a scene you are writing then this is the website to check out! Here is a list of the playlists so you know what to find! Click HERE to get to the playlists!

The Classics
Electro/Dubstep
Atmospheric Vocals (Soft Writing Music)
Civilized Melee
Hope/Musing/Reflection Writing Music
Negative Drive
Motivational Drive
Relaxed/Neutral Writing Music
1700s-1800s Era
Sorrow/Pensive Writing Music
Ethnic Emotional
High Energy Chase
Villainous
Oceanic and High Seas
Flight Inspired
Ethnic Action
Romance and Love
Medieval Fantasy
Hope/Inspiration/Uplifting/Happy Ending
Dystopian Era
Moment of Truth Writing Music
Epic Voyage/Journey
Suspense and Intrigue
Battle Scores
A Spring Dance Frolic
Asian Music
Celtic Music
Western Themed Writing Music
Steampunk
Southern Gothic

Book Review|| Fighter by Christopher Greenwood

Hello Readers!

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Welcome to the first post for Share The Love! So, I’ve decided now that Share The Love will be book reviews or just a little blurb with a reason why I love a certain book or what I learned while reading it…so basically just sharing the love of books! Fun right?

Okay, today I am gonna just talk a bit about ‘Fighter: 5 keys to conquering fear and reaching your dreams’ which is a non-fiction novel written my Christopher Greenwood

 

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This book was absolutely fantastic. It was part biography and part inspiration. I read through this book within a couple sittings and scribbled away notes in my notebook throughout the entire thing.

Christopher Greenwood (a.k.a Rapper/Hip Hop Artist called Manafest) used his story of his childhood and building his career as a musical artist in an effective way to show how you can conquer your fears and reach your dreams, no matter what they are.

It was a great book and I highly suggest it. This book left me so inspired and thinking of ways I can reach those goals and dreams I wanted to reach but everyone tells me is impossible.

Because of this book, Ive decided to reach for my dreams and not let anything drag me down or stand in my way….

…and that is why I love this book and want to Share The Love.

 

Have you read this book? Heard of it? Is there another book you’ve read that you want to share? I’m always interested in hearing about new books and such, so fire off a comment and I shall see it and love it 😛

Until Next Time,

Adriana