I’ll Be Home For Christmas…

You can count on me. Please have snow and mistletoe and presents on the tree. I’ll be home for Christmas!

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So the reason for my being MIA is due to my being at college. (In case you didn’t know due to my forgetfulness to mention things or you are new and visiting the blog for the first time.) For some reason, I thought my first semester was going to be so chill and easy and…while it was easier than I had initially thought I’ve been so busy on a daily basis it’s not even close to funny. Penpals haven’t received responses (but they have not been forgotten), Bookstagram hasn’t had very much TLC, My blog has been abandoned and while I have been able to keep up with a bit of reading (textbooks aside) I still haven’t had much time for downtime.

Experiencing now, my first ever semester of college, I can look upon the semester with some stress, confusion, and frustration, I’m also really proud of myself. And no, not in the ‘oh wow I’m so amazing and better than everyone else!’ proud but just proud of my accomplishments and that I even made it this far. Because if you had asked me last year if I was going to college I may have said I was going to try as I was upgrading high school classes at the time but it’s still quite surreal that I’m even here right now and a week and a half away from going home for Christmas break! Being here at Bible College has been such an eye-opener for me and an amazing experience…well, amazing as long as we ignore and forget the caf food here is the worst. Caf food aside this college has been a huge experience for me with so many learning curves and trying new things to help me grow not only academically, but spiritually. One of those things was in my Spiritual Theology class where we had to spend 24hours fasting and in complete solitude. While it was something I’m not sure I’m too keen on doing on a regular basis it was still an amazing time and wonderful experience to be able to connect with God in a new way. And now I actually know from experience what it is like to be in prayer and fasting for 24 hours and spend one on one time with God in such an interesting and intimate way. ( I am hoping to write up a post or two over Christmas break about my classes and what I learned and more about what I’m planning to do here at school.) I’m actually quite sad my last day of that Spiritual Theology class is ending but I know that its time to move on to other classes and get other things done and just keep learning!

Within the next week and a half before heading home I have 3 final exams to complete and while I’m slightly nervous I know I can and will put my best work into studying and prep for these exams and make sure I’m ready to take them on and pass them. Despite that, these last few weeks the words from the Christmas song, ‘I’ll be home for Christmas’ has been stuck in my head. This year especially has had that song as my #1 favorite because it’s true! I’ll be home for Christmas! Last year I spent Christmas in my apartment 6 hours away from my family. While I spend Christmas day with some relatives in the area I still missed my parents and siblings and grandparents. The homesickness was even worse when I got a phone call from my dad later in the morning on Christmas Day saying my Papa was rushed to the hospital due to having a stroke. It made Christmas so hard for me because I was scared I was going to lose my Papa. One of my best friends for these short 20 years of my life. I thank God every day, especially as Christmas nears, that my Papa has fully recovered and is still here with our family. But that makes me all the more anxious to be home this time for Christmas. To see my family and spend time with them, hug them a little longer, lose sleep staying up late to spend time with them, and just being home with the people who love me most even though I’m not home right now.

Merry (Early) Christmas Everyone! ❤

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An Open Letter

So I posted this letter to my personal facebook page about a month ago but due to a reoccurrence I’m posting it here as well hoping to just get everything off my chest.

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To the person who commented anonymously on myself and my boyfriend’s snapchat,

You succeeded. When you said that I was fat and ugly and that my boyfriend could do way better, I believed it. So as I said…

You win.

Mission successful.

10 Points for Slytherin… (or whatever your preferred catchphrase)

I’ve tried not to let it bother me but something you may not know is that most days I’m not happy with my body. It’s true, I used to be skinnier and more fit than I am now and on my bad days I beat myself up about it way more than I should because life is rough and I’m my own worst critic.
So congratulations, the anonymous friend of me and my boyfriend. You’ve successfully ruined my last few days even though I’ve tried so hard to ignore it.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me, right?

Wrong.

But despite all this, I will say a few things.

1. I’m sorry you felt the need to take out whatever is bothering and eating at you on me and you had to hide behind an anonymous username (or no name at all) to say what you really think. Honestly, if you have a problem say it to my face. I’m not angry with you…I’m just trying to make sense of it all

And 2. I honestly and sincerely hope that even though what you said to me hurt that no one dares utter those words to you. Those words that can tear apart your entire day and emotionally hurt. Those words that make you feel worthless and undeserving of the one person in SO long that has actually shown you they cared and loved you so much.
I really hope those words are never uttered to you and I say that with 100% sincerity.

And last but not least:
3.Despite everything your words have made me question and how much it hurt, I forgive you.

Sometimes You Gotta Refocus…

Rethink.

Refocus.

Move Forward.

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So I have some more guest posts coming in the next week or two but I thought I should pop in and share some thoughts with you as well as a verse of encouragment. As I’ve mentioned a little bit here and there, this year I really focused on upgrading some high school courses so I could attend college this fall and I have arrived! But with that, I want to talk about focus and priorities.

Reaching your goals takes a lot of doing what you don’t feel like doing and also hard times. And when that happens, sometimes you’ve gotta refocus. I really learned that over the last year as I had to buckle down and do work I didn’t want to do and meet deadlines that feel almost impossible to meet. As I sit here at college having survived the first week of classes I’m realizing that it’s all the same as before. Slightly harder work and lots of it but still the same. And in those moments of stress and frustration when I feel like I’m drowning in all I have to do I’ve had to learn to stop, take a minute or two to just breathe and then reflect about why I’m doing this all and what it’s for. – What the point is behind all this paperwork and daily readings for classes the next day.

Refocus on my goals then move forward knowing that this is not pointless. That there is a plan and final goal in mind.

A long-term plan.

So just remember that if you feel exhausted, or swamped with homework, studies, work or even just life to stop and take a minute to breathe and reflect on what will come from what you are doing right now.

11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” – Jeremiah 29:11-13

 

Loving Who God Made You To Be

Hello there lovelies!

Today we have a guest post from my friend Cori. She was one of the first people to volunteer to write a blog post for this new blog post series I wanna do throughout the year and I LOVE what she has to say.

I hope you all receive some encouragement from this lovely gals words of wisdom.

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Well, it’s a new year again and our social media is filled with “New year new me” posts and new years resolutions that will last a couple of weeks.  Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t see anything wrong with trying to better yourself, but when its all about me, me, me I think we might just be missing the point. My resolution is to grow closer to Christ and to love who He made me.
        The world tells us that it is all about you. You do you. You only live once. I agree to make the most of your life but when your life revolves around you and you only that isn’t exactly what God has planned. God tells us to live humbly and to always put your neighbor before yourself. He tells us to give a homeless man the clothes off our backs if he doesn’t have any. He tells us to pray for our enemies and love them no matter the harm they’ve caused you.  That may not be very easy, but that is what we are called to. There is a difference between loving who God made you and being a self centered jerk
        Now my life hasn’t been that easy. I was sexually abused, I’ve harmed myself and did for many years, and I even attempted suicide. Growing up I’ve had major self esteem problems.  I would look at myself in the mirror and hate everything about my reflection. I would cry at night because I wasn’t good enough for society or even myself. It wasn’t until recently, actually, that I realized  I wasn’t living how God had planned. It took a mental hospital being waved over my head for me to finally get my act together.  My point is this: God made you who you are for a reason and you are perfectly and wonderfully made. He planned out every inch of you, beautifully, inside of your mother and God, the God of the universe, does not make mistakes. (Psalms 139:13-18)
        Now I pray that in this new year you learn to love yourself for who God made you. Not for what the world wants you to be. Serve your Lord with all your heart soul and mind and love every bit of yourself because the creator of everything there ever was and is to come made you and that is pretty amazing if you think about it.
    Now I still deal with all of these things today. I am not saying that life is gonna be a bundle of joy on a sunny day. Life sucks, there’s no other way to put it, but it is so much easier to have hope and to love who God made you to be then to dwell on things and to try to be this perfect person society makes the standard out to be. You will never be perfect. You will never be “Good enough” , but you know what? That’s why Christ died for us. So that in Him we are good enough and always will be. God doesn’t look at us for all the bad things we have done.  He looks at us as perfect, just as He made us perfectly.

“Lord help me to love who You made me to be. Help me serve you in any way that i can in this new year. I pray that in the new year i grow spiritually and grow to love others more than myself, thank you for all these blessings, i pray that my self esteem will be high this year. In your name I pray , Amen.”

Yours Truly,
Cori Heck

5 Things I’ve Learned from Moving Out

Its only been under a week and I’ve already learned so much…

 

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So here we go! Here are 5 things I have learned from moving out!

1. Time to put your big person pants and adult it up.

Some things your parents may do or have done for you up until you moved out… but NOW its time to do it on your own. [insert dramatic music here]

Things like doing your own laundry, cleaning, dishes, and grocery shopping all need to be done by you. (and you gotta pay for it too. So get ready to pay up 😉 )

Also time management is a pretty big deal. Figuring out your own time and managing it well is still a skill I’m working on…and I already thought I was good at it before I moved out. Depending how things go for you, you might be moving due to getting a job and wont start work the day you move. In that case you might feel like you have a LOT of time on your hands and not know what to do (especially if your roommate is working and has time and a schedule of their own to figure out or live out.)

2. Meet people.

So if you aren’t moving to a new city or town, this may not apply to you…But I’ve found out that I’ve had a lot of alone time as I don’t start work until tomorrow. In the meantime, most the packing has been done and I’m kinda alone and bored during the day.

So go.

Get out.

Meet people.

Find things to do outside of your house/apartment.

 

 

3. Get started unpacking right away.

Pro tip: Start unpacking your room first. I was told that by unpacking that first and getting it organized helps you feel more relaxed and at home at the end of the day and let me now tell you this… It works. Even if you have the rest of the house/apartment to do. Start. With. Your. Room.

 

 

4. Explore. Find out whats around you.

Get to know your local area. Find grocery stores, churches, libraries, grocery stores, gas stations and other such things. Get to know your area. Take a day to wander and explore and know the area around where you live.

 

5. Set up well in advance.

By that I mean power and internet mostly or whatever you might need. For example: My roomie and I didn’t really look into many places as well as we should have and the first power company we were with wouldn’t give us power until October 4th! After switching companies we finally got power today after being 5ish days without it. So plan, plan, PLAN and get it all set up at least a week before your move in date. Power and internet companies say they can have it set up in a few days but give them at LEAST a week so call ahead. I mean unless you want to be eating food that doesn’t need to be cooked or refrigerated or taking showers and going to the washroom in the dark… Oh the joys of first time moving out.