So I posted this letter to my personal facebook page about a month ago but due to a reoccurrence I’m posting it here as well hoping to just get everything off my chest.
To the person who commented anonymously on myself and my boyfriend’s snapchat,
You succeeded. When you said that I was fat and ugly and that my boyfriend could do way better, I believed it. So as I said…
You win.
Mission successful.
10 Points for Slytherin… (or whatever your preferred catchphrase)
I’ve tried not to let it bother me but something you may not know is that most days I’m not happy with my body. It’s true, I used to be skinnier and more fit than I am now and on my bad days I beat myself up about it way more than I should because life is rough and I’m my own worst critic.
So congratulations, the anonymous friend of me and my boyfriend. You’ve successfully ruined my last few days even though I’ve tried so hard to ignore it.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me, right?
Wrong.
But despite all this, I will say a few things.
1. I’m sorry you felt the need to take out whatever is bothering and eating at you on me and you had to hide behind an anonymous username (or no name at all) to say what you really think. Honestly, if you have a problem say it to my face. I’m not angry with you…I’m just trying to make sense of it all
And 2. I honestly and sincerely hope that even though what you said to me hurt that no one dares utter those words to you. Those words that can tear apart your entire day and emotionally hurt. Those words that make you feel worthless and undeserving of the one person in SO long that has actually shown you they cared and loved you so much.
I really hope those words are never uttered to you and I say that with 100% sincerity.
And last but not least:
3.Despite everything your words have made me question and how much it hurt, I forgive you.
Recently I heard the song ‘Scars to your Beautiful” by Alessia Cara on the radio. I’ve really grown fond of her because her music is not dirty, inappropriate crap about sex and drugs..and then when I heard her song Scars To Your Beautiful, I had a new appreciation for this music artist.
I was so happy to hear an artist speak out about this ever growing issue of society making women (and men) insecure about their bodies and who they are as a person.
“What I love about people is when they’re just being themselves and not worrying about what they look like.” is a quote from the commentary in the music video (shared below) and it couldn’t be more true. There is nothing more beautiful than someone who is just being themselves. Fully and completely themselves.
Its a beautiful thing.
Now I’m not saying its easy to forget comments made to you about how you look or what people think. Especially if those comments have been negative or you are a people pleaser like me. Its hard to put the negative or your insecurities out of your mind…Especially when people seem to be brutally honest these days and say whatever they feel whether its true or not…
And society is essentially bipolar. It really is.
When it comes to who you are and should be and how you should look and act, society is always changing its ideas.
Its unpredictable and constantly changing.
Something I’m still learning is to realize that its okay to be me and that I’m beautiful the way I am. And that if people don’t like it, then it doesn’t matter because then they never really cared for who I am as a person. Its a long hard process to put aside all my insecurities and things people have said to me about my size/body in the past but things are moving in a positive direction for me. Its slow but its there. So know that even though you are trying to love yourself for who you are and it feels like you are going nowhere, know that it takes time. By not loving yourself, you are hating and hurting yourself.
Healing takes time and thats ok.
Think on that and also I hope you are encouraged by the words of this song and what the people in the video have to say. I know I was.
“Scars To Your Beautiful” by Alessia Cara
She just wants to be beautiful
She goes unnoticed, she knows no limits,
She craves attention, she praises an image,
She prays to be sculpted by the sculptor
Oh she don’t see the light that’s shining
Deeper than the eyes can find it
Maybe we have made her blind
So she tries to cover up her pain, and cut her woes away
‘Cause covergirls don’t cry after their face is made
But there’s a hope that’s waiting for you in the dark
You should know you’re beautiful just the way you are
And you don’t have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we’re stars and we’re beautiful
Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
And you don’t have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we’re stars and we’re beautiful
She has dreams to be an envy, so she’s starving
You know, “Covergirls eat nothing.”
She says, “Beauty is pain and there’s beauty in everything.”
“What’s a little bit of hunger?”
“I could go a little while longer,” she fades away
She don’t see her perfect, she don’t understand she’s worth it
Or that beauty goes deeper than the surface
Ah oh, ah ah oh,
So to all the girls that’s hurting
Let me be your mirror, help you see a little bit clearer
The light that shines within
There’s a hope that’s waiting for you in the dark
You should know you’re beautiful just the way you are
And you don’t have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we’re stars and we’re beautiful
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
And you don’t have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we’re stars and we’re beautiful
No better you than the you that you are
(no better you than the you that you are)
No better life than the life we’re living
(no better life than the life we’re living)
No better time for your shine, you’re a star
(no better time for your shine, you’re a star)
Oh, you’re beautiful, oh, you’re beautiful
There’s a hope that’s waiting for you in the dark
You should know you’re beautiful just the way you are
And you don’t have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we’re stars and we’re beautiful
Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
And you don’t have to change a thing
The world could change its heart
No scars to your beautiful, we’re stars and we’re beautiful
The Librarian Files 