An Open Letter

So I posted this letter to my personal facebook page about a month ago but due to a reoccurrence I’m posting it here as well hoping to just get everything off my chest.

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To the person who commented anonymously on myself and my boyfriend’s snapchat,

You succeeded. When you said that I was fat and ugly and that my boyfriend could do way better, I believed it. So as I said…

You win.

Mission successful.

10 Points for Slytherin… (or whatever your preferred catchphrase)

I’ve tried not to let it bother me but something you may not know is that most days I’m not happy with my body. It’s true, I used to be skinnier and more fit than I am now and on my bad days I beat myself up about it way more than I should because life is rough and I’m my own worst critic.
So congratulations, the anonymous friend of me and my boyfriend. You’ve successfully ruined my last few days even though I’ve tried so hard to ignore it.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me, right?

Wrong.

But despite all this, I will say a few things.

1. I’m sorry you felt the need to take out whatever is bothering and eating at you on me and you had to hide behind an anonymous username (or no name at all) to say what you really think. Honestly, if you have a problem say it to my face. I’m not angry with you…I’m just trying to make sense of it all

And 2. I honestly and sincerely hope that even though what you said to me hurt that no one dares utter those words to you. Those words that can tear apart your entire day and emotionally hurt. Those words that make you feel worthless and undeserving of the one person in SO long that has actually shown you they cared and loved you so much.
I really hope those words are never uttered to you and I say that with 100% sincerity.

And last but not least:
3.Despite everything your words have made me question and how much it hurt, I forgive you.

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Sometimes You Gotta Refocus…

Rethink.

Refocus.

Move Forward.

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So I have some more guest posts coming in the next week or two but I thought I should pop in and share some thoughts with you as well as a verse of encouragment. As I’ve mentioned a little bit here and there, this year I really focused on upgrading some high school courses so I could attend college this fall and I have arrived! But with that, I want to talk about focus and priorities.

Reaching your goals takes a lot of doing what you don’t feel like doing and also hard times. And when that happens, sometimes you’ve gotta refocus. I really learned that over the last year as I had to buckle down and do work I didn’t want to do and meet deadlines that feel almost impossible to meet. As I sit here at college having survived the first week of classes I’m realizing that it’s all the same as before. Slightly harder work and lots of it but still the same. And in those moments of stress and frustration when I feel like I’m drowning in all I have to do I’ve had to learn to stop, take a minute or two to just breathe and then reflect about why I’m doing this all and what it’s for. – What the point is behind all this paperwork and daily readings for classes the next day.

Refocus on my goals then move forward knowing that this is not pointless. That there is a plan and final goal in mind.

A long-term plan.

So just remember that if you feel exhausted, or swamped with homework, studies, work or even just life to stop and take a minute to breathe and reflect on what will come from what you are doing right now.

11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” – Jeremiah 29:11-13

 

Don’t Give Up Hope

“What can feel like the ending could just be the beginning. Don’t give up hope.” -Third Day

-Third Day

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Over the last 11 months since I moved out (I can’t believe it has been almost a year!) I’ve been learning a lot about being on my own and actually being independent out in the big wide world far from home. Throughout this last year, I’ve been greatly challenged in all areas of my life. Especially when it comes to my faith and boy, it has not been easy.

God has been teaching me so much over this last year and all I can really do is sit here and thank Him for not writing me off as a lost cause and forgetting about me cause I can be so stubborn it’s actually not even funny. (Like it’s really not)

But one thing God has really been pushing me with is my trust in Him. Trusting that he has got my life planned out and under control and believing that He created me to fulfill some awesome and amazing things that I can’t even begin to imagine and it’s been HARD. Even now I’m still working on it but as I’ve made moves to trust Him in His plans for my life I’m slowly starting to see what living like that is like. It’s not always a walk in the park and sometimes I doubt myself and doubt God about what He is doing and where He is leading me.

But as I sit here in my college dorm, having been here a whole week, I realize none of this could be anyone or thing aside from God. I still can’t believe that I made it here and even though I’m not certain about my degree I’m going for and if I’ll be at College for 2 or 4 years. I know that I need to not give up Hope when things get hard and be open to God and trust Him to show me what He wants me to do with my life and where He wants me.

No matter where you are and all seems hopeless and confusing or you just feel lost, don’t give up hope ❤

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Mrs. Potato Head

Oh, Mrs. Potato Head, tell me, is it true that pain is beauty?

 

Melanie Martinez album titled Cry Baby is one of the best albums I’ve listened to. Not only for her unique sound and lyrics but the message in a lot of her songs. One of those impactful songs is called Mrs. Potato Head, which I quoted above. The approach this song takes is eye opening in the way that she shows what society defines as beauty or that if you don’t have anything going for you, you can just pay thousands of dollars to fix whatever you hate about yourself.

We see this daily in the celebrities so many people idolize. It’s a common thing in our society and I think it says so much about how messed up and confused our society is and it’s actually sad. The media is telling us we have to look or act a certain way in everything we do, say, like, wear, and what we look like and it’s heaIt’sreaking. It’s heartbreaking because we are all made to be ourselves and not one of us is the same in appearance, personality, likes, talents or whatever!

We were not all created to fit in and be the same but to be ourselves and stand out!

Because of society and its ideas of what beauty should be, I know some amazing women who don’t believe that they are beautiful. Even I don’t always believe I’m beautiful even though I know that everyone is unique and different and that in itself is beautiful. There are days where I look in the mirror and wish my tummy was smaller or my thighs weren’t as ‘jiggly.’

I know a girl who I feel hasn’t been told enough times that she is beautiful…and because of it, she covers her face in layers of makeup and always changes her hair (whether cut or style) Even though she is stunning with or without makeup, dressed up or in sweats and a t-shirt, she doesn’t believe it because society gives this image of beauty that she doesn’t ‘fit’ into and through her 19 years of life not many people have told her she is beautiful just the way she is.

So I just want to encourage you and say: Don’t define yourself by society’s definition of beauty. Embrace you and your body and be beautifully and unapologetically you!

 

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Loving People Like Jesus

Hello there!

I’m so sorry it’s been so long since I’ve blogged. My priorities have been to focus on my upgrades for college and now that those are done it’s a waiting process to get my marks back. Since that’s done I’m hoping to be able to put a bit more of a priority on my blogging and novel writing. But today I’m gonna work on writing up some posts and finishing up ones I started so today my friend Cori has written another guest post so I’ll let her share what she’s written.

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Growing up I learned that people are not always the easiest to love all the time. I was taught that you have to love everyone, even if you don’t like them.

One of the most important commandments is to love your neighbors as yourself. God said that himself. Treat others the way you would want to be treated is something my youth pastor would say often. Although not always the easiest route, it is the way that Jesus lived himself.

Jesus hung out with people that you wouldn’t really expect. He made friends with the liars and cheats. The outcasts. The people nobody wanted to be. I think He did this to set an example for us today. He didn’t have to love on those people. But he chose to show them the love and respect every person needs.

Now that doesn’t mean that Jesus took crap from people either. He would correct them when they were wrong, in a very polite yet clever way most of the time.

Don’t think I’m telling you to hang around a murderer and be best friends with them. But I am telling you to love that person no matter the sins they struggle with because, in the end, his sin is the same as mine. Even if mine seems minuscule in comparison God sees all sin as the same.

When I was in grade school the teachers would always pair the new kids or the weird kids with me because In my house you treated everybody the way you would want to be treated, therefor I was always the nice one in class, even when I didn’t want to be I was paired with them. Now I was a very shy kid. It was pretty hard for me to do this. But I felt the call that God put on my life to follow him at a young age and I knew it was the right thing to do.

There was this one kid who nobody got along with. I’m not gonna share her name but she was a nice kid. Just a bit strange. Once one of my friends asked me why I hung out with her so much. I simply told them that she deserved to have friends too. At the end of the school year, we went our separate ways but her mom came up to me and thanked me for being so nice to this girl. She was a bit hyper and talked A LOT but I did enjoy her company and learned to love her very much.

I wish more kids would give each other a chance rather than judging a book by its cover. It’s so hard for me to see all the bullying and abuse that goes on In schools these days. It’s sad.

I learned pretty young that it’s honestly so rewarding and worth getting to know a person no matter how much they annoy you.

Now I know we aren’t all in grade school here. That was just one example. I have another. Take homeless people for example. I have worked and served homeless people for as long as I can remember. But some people won’t even look in their direction. Some Christians don’t even see them as people.

I’ll never forget the day that I went up to a homeless man and gave him some food and he looked at me with tears in his eyes. He said nobody would even look at him that day. He searches in his bag for a ring he had made and he gave it to me saying that he wishes there were more people like me in this world.

I’ve given people on the streets Christmas presents that haven’t gotten anything for 25 years and they’ve broken down and asked me to watch them open it. It wasn’t much just some essentials and little things and a book but he was so thankful for his gift. He said that maybe there really is a God that loved him all because I treated him like a normal person for a few minutes.

I love these experiences. Ones with people who think they don’t even deserve it anymore. Broken people. I see them as a beautiful creation of God and it’s almost magical seeing these moments.

If people could just open their eyes and see them as people in a bad circumstance the world would be a much more beautiful place. But let’s move on to another example.

Now we’ve all had that one neighbor that everybody hates right? I have anyways. Those people are one of the hardest to love. Just the meanest most annoying people you’ve ever met right? Well God calls us to love even them. I know crazy right?! Well, I know for a fact that Jesus would have gone up to that guy and said: “I love you no matter what the sin you are struggling with.” So we are called to do the same. That’s not always the easy thing to do but sometimes the hard choice is the best choice.

So many times in the Bible the Pharisees would scold Jesus for hanging out with “that guy” like why would a guy like you hang out with a guy like them? Love, that’s the answer. Unconditional unfailing love.

I know these words aren’t really something easy to read but it’s very important. So next time you just can’t stand someone, pray for them. It not only changes them but it changes your heart towards them. I’m not saying you have to like them, but you must love them.

“Lord help me to love like you do. Help me to love my enemy’s and pray for them. Help me to go up to the weird kid and be their friend. I thank you for your love and grace on us. We don’t deserve it but you made us deserve it by dying on the cross for us. Help me to spread love through out the world and shine your light through me. In Jesus name, I pray, Amen”

How To Find Peace In Your Imperfections

Hello Loves!

This week has been super crazy with work and school and my boyfriend visiting and I forgot to post this guest post by the lovely Molly Shaffer. So I’ll step aside and let her take over the blog today.

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For over three decades, I’ve struggled with self-hate. So much so that I couldn’t stand to see the woman staring back at me in the mirror. The world said I had to change in order to be beautiful. My face, without makeup, was not beautiful. The stretch marks that etched across my body were not beautiful. The cellulite, pimples, smile lines, and God knows how many other countless flaws, were not beautiful. In fact, there was nothing redeeming about me, and beautiful was a word meant for other people, not someone as broken as me. Lies!

This past year, the infamous 2016, was my year of self-growth. My New Year’s Resolution was different from my past ones, the ones where a number defined my life. In 2016, I made the resolution to become healthy: mind, body, and soul. Little did I know that uttering those words would send me on the most gut-wrenching journey of my life. A year of pain, growth, and ultimately, the beginnings of self-love…truly, honestly, lasting self-love.

How did I do it? How did I go from an inability to stare at my own reflection to becoming my own champion? Faith, quiet time, and most importantly, banishing the negative thoughts that were at war in my head. It took a lifetime to hate myself, and a year to come to peace, but it will take a daily commitment to choose love, in order to make lasting changes in my life. This is how you begin the process. This is where change resides. Not in a miracle pill or fad diet, but in rewiring your brain. Realizing that weight is truly just a number, but health runs much deeper than beauty ever will.

 

Step 1: Recognize the lies

One morning, I woke up ready to start a brand new day. I had a song in my head and a smile on my lips, but one step in front of the mirror, and my entire mood changed. Like a light switch turning off in my head, I felt the negativity creep in. My hair was in disarray, and my mascara smeared under my eyes, creating dark circles that would make a raccoon envious. I sat at my vanity, my head in my hands, and I cried. What happened to that strong woman from a second ago? Where did the warriorNowherewhere. She was inside me at that very moment. I had silenced her with a lie.

I picked up my head, and forced myself to look in the mirror. My eyes watered, but I refused to look away. I stared until my face blurred, and I ignored the menacing voice in my head…the liar. Slowly, ever so slowly, I began to make out an image. A cute button nose and full lips. Finally, a positive thought. I liked my nose and my lips. I ran with these thoughts, and as soon as the liar emerged once again, I had a weapon. Sure my eyebrows need to be shaped, but have you seen my nose. Damn, that’s a good nose. I took that first step, which lead to two more, and then, I was running.

 

Step 2: Find a Mantra

The negativity had defined me for far too long. The time had come to find my life quote…the one I could use to defeat the enemy…my war cry. I read through scripture until I came across the verse that spoke to my soul. Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ.” I had read this verse many times before, but for some reason it held a new meaning for me. I can do anything. Anything. Give up the bad habits. Strengthen my body and soul. Heck, I could even love myself. Why not? My life verse echoed…all things. The key word being all. I can do this. I will do this.

You may not be religious, and that is okay. Find your life verse. The verse that clings to you, or better yet, the verse you cling to. You’re going to need it, because the liar is strong in you. You’re going to need a mantra to defeat that cycle of abuse. Find your verse, memorize it, and repeat it until it sticks. Over and over again, like a song on repeat. You can do this.

 

Step 3: Phone a Friend

I have an accountability partner. Her name is Jessica, and she is my sister from a different mister. There are moments that I feel we are the same person in different bodies. Kindred souls thousands of miles apart. It’s kind of freaky how well we mesh. The best part, I can be real with this woman, and she doesn’t judge me. She pours truth into my life, refuses to sugar coat my failures, or accept my excuses. She isn’t harsh in her redirections. I don’t need a drill sergeant. I need a friend. Someone I can cry out to and laugh with. Jessica is that friend to me.

My journey will not work if I try it alone. I can talk myself into some stupid mistakes. “Go ahead, girl, you deserve a slice of that chocolate cake…no, you deserve the whole cake.” So, before I make a bad choice, I text Jessica. She either affirms my madness, or gently redirects me. Find your Jessica. She’s out there.

 

Step 4: Give Yourself Grace

You’re going to screw up. It’s inevitable. The best thing you can do when you muck everything up, is to realize you haven’t really mucked everything up. Stand up, dust off your bum, and get back on course. So you failed: who cares? That’s part of the process. Don’t slit your other three tires because you have a flat (I love that analogy). Give yourself the same grace you would give to your best friend, because after all, you need to begin seeing yourself as your best friend.

 

Step 5: Perfect isn’t Real

For most of my life, I sought perfection, until recently. I read this amazing book, Present Over Perfect, and I had an epiphany. Perfect is cold. Perfect is plastic. Perfect isn’t real. I want warm, comfortable, snuggly, and sometimes that comes with messy, flawed, and blemished…and that’s okay.

The price I paid for perfection is profuse. I spent countless hours inspecting my physique, holding myself to severe standards, and beating myself up when I didn’t reach the unattainable. Sound familiar? It’s the anthem of our world. Kill yourself so others will love you. Well, I say, love yourself and kill the negativity. Once you can see the lies you’ve believed about yourself are just that…lies…you can begin to speak truth into your soul. That’s where real transformation begins, and I’m here to tell you, life on the other side is great!

 
If you’d like to read more about my journey to self-love, visit my website: www.mollyshaffer.com. I’ll be the one with the love of words. The messy chick with a crooked grin. But guess what, I’ll be the one smiling!

Loving Who God Made You To Be

Hello there lovelies!

Today we have a guest post from my friend Cori. She was one of the first people to volunteer to write a blog post for this new blog post series I wanna do throughout the year and I LOVE what she has to say.

I hope you all receive some encouragement from this lovely gals words of wisdom.

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Well, it’s a new year again and our social media is filled with “New year new me” posts and new years resolutions that will last a couple of weeks.  Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t see anything wrong with trying to better yourself, but when its all about me, me, me I think we might just be missing the point. My resolution is to grow closer to Christ and to love who He made me.
        The world tells us that it is all about you. You do you. You only live once. I agree to make the most of your life but when your life revolves around you and you only that isn’t exactly what God has planned. God tells us to live humbly and to always put your neighbor before yourself. He tells us to give a homeless man the clothes off our backs if he doesn’t have any. He tells us to pray for our enemies and love them no matter the harm they’ve caused you.  That may not be very easy, but that is what we are called to. There is a difference between loving who God made you and being a self centered jerk
        Now my life hasn’t been that easy. I was sexually abused, I’ve harmed myself and did for many years, and I even attempted suicide. Growing up I’ve had major self esteem problems.  I would look at myself in the mirror and hate everything about my reflection. I would cry at night because I wasn’t good enough for society or even myself. It wasn’t until recently, actually, that I realized  I wasn’t living how God had planned. It took a mental hospital being waved over my head for me to finally get my act together.  My point is this: God made you who you are for a reason and you are perfectly and wonderfully made. He planned out every inch of you, beautifully, inside of your mother and God, the God of the universe, does not make mistakes. (Psalms 139:13-18)
        Now I pray that in this new year you learn to love yourself for who God made you. Not for what the world wants you to be. Serve your Lord with all your heart soul and mind and love every bit of yourself because the creator of everything there ever was and is to come made you and that is pretty amazing if you think about it.
    Now I still deal with all of these things today. I am not saying that life is gonna be a bundle of joy on a sunny day. Life sucks, there’s no other way to put it, but it is so much easier to have hope and to love who God made you to be then to dwell on things and to try to be this perfect person society makes the standard out to be. You will never be perfect. You will never be “Good enough” , but you know what? That’s why Christ died for us. So that in Him we are good enough and always will be. God doesn’t look at us for all the bad things we have done.  He looks at us as perfect, just as He made us perfectly.

“Lord help me to love who You made me to be. Help me serve you in any way that i can in this new year. I pray that in the new year i grow spiritually and grow to love others more than myself, thank you for all these blessings, i pray that my self esteem will be high this year. In your name I pray , Amen.”

Yours Truly,
Cori Heck

2017

Hello lovelies!

Sorry I haven’t posted at all this month life has been crazy and all over the place but I’m hoping to explain some of that here and my post plans for the new year!

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So the new year has come and gone and its almost February! Like what?! My apologies on the lack of posting. I’ll explain why, but hopefully there wont be so many apology posts this year due to lack of posting. Part of the reasons is I don’t feel like apologizing anymore.

Not that I don’t love you lovely readers or that I don’t care but in the past I’ve missed posting and torn myself down for it. I don’t want to be doing that anymore so my blogging is going to be a little more relaxed this year.

I have a goal to try and write one blog post a week on top of my busy schedule but at the same time I don’t want to beat myself up every time I don’t post! The reason being because I started blogging because I had (and have) things to say and it was fun to express it in that way. My passion and love for my blog hasn’t changed but with my more busy schedule this year, posting will be less frequent for sure as I have other things that (sadly) hold a higher priority over blogging.

WITH THAT SAID! I still have some exciting things for this blog. So lets talk about exciting things because I’m not stopping posting entirely! Just gotta adapt my blog schedule to my busy life.

On the blog this year I want to turn this around from a book review blog (as I started to do when I changed the name) to more of a personal, thought sharing, encouragement blog. There will still be book reviews or discussions on my writing and music and stuff every once in a while for sure but not as often.

I want to focus on not only encouraging and building up you guys but also growing myself in the process. I would argue that self-love and self-care for women is especially hard and I’m seeing that more and more each day. I personally am tired of looking in the mirror and calling myself ‘good enough’ or not liking what I see at all and I want to change that. This year I want to go on a journey to change how I feel about myself and my body and take time to grow closer to God.

Spend more time doing life. And I want to encourage others through this process.

To help me kick this off I have asked some wonderful people (girls and guys alike) on my Facebook page and twitter to help me out and guest post for me. (if you wanna join in too, contact me!) Speak whats on their hearts. Tell me about their struggles and what they are doing to turn those into positivity, self-love, and growth!

On top of that I already have a lot of exciting things in my life in 2017 that I can’t wait to share as they happen!

 

Hope to see you around and that you benefit from this journey as much as I.

 

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Dancing Through The Pain

Now you might think the title is metaphorical but no. I mean literally…but also get ready for some real stuff and life lessons! Wooh!

 

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le me Swing Dancing 🙂 ( photo cred: Swing Bridge Dance Club )

 

Something you all know about me at this point: I’m a huge lover of Swing Dance.  (Being deprived of it since I’ve moved is so hard)

BUT

Something you may or may not know about me is this: I have chronic pain in my legs (due to uneven arches in my feet.) This chronic pain affects me daily. Some days are worse than others but usually after a full day of running around doing errands and working I am out for the count and it hurts to walk or move.

 

 

Put chronic pain and Swing together and you get an interesting way of making said chronic pain worse. Yet I do it and keep doing it anyways.

 

Why?

 

Because I love it too much to stop. Now that might sound like a silly excuse but its the truth.

 

Why Swing Dance?

Swing Dance is something I did weekly before moving (I still dance around my apartment lots too. Not the same but hey I’m still groovin’ )  Not only was it fun but it really improved my mood but, for the first time in a long time, I REALLY looked forward to a new week ahead of me cause I always kicked off the week with dance.

Fun fact: Dance or Movement Therapy has been used for many centuries to improve the mental and physical well- being of a person. Since dancing is an art, it increases self-expression and helps people connect with themselves and others. Dancing is a form of art that offers a way to explore psychological roots to overcome certain illnesses such as depression. Research have shown that dancing provide benefits that can help minimize depression’s effects.

As well as it being fun there are actually a lot of health benefits of it. Swing Dancing is a fun way to work out without it really feeling like a workout in the moment. Dancing also makes you happier. Not just in the moment but also in the long run.

I’ve taken many kinds of dance over the last 4-5 years and it really does make you happier! and if I’m having a bad day I put on one of my favorite songs at top volume and just sing and dance away like no one is watching. (usually no one is haha)

Something else that Swing Dance has done for me personally is make me a little more social and confident. – I’m an introverted little human who much prefers sitting in a corner and waiting till someone approaches me and starts talking to me as opposed to my approaching them… but doing Swing Dance totally turned that around for me?

How?

Simple- Swing Dance is a very fun, outgoing, and social type of dance where, whether you are a lead or a follow, guy or girl, if you wanna dance you get your butt off that chair and go up to someone and ask them to dance.

For the first while when I first started Swing Dancing I was like ‘nuh- uh no way. Nope. I’m gonna sit here and wait for someone to ask me to dance.‘ but eventually I started going up to people and asking them to dance!

Now this might sound like a funny thing to discuss but here is the thing. If you are a introverted little human (as mentioned before) you would know that this is a scary thing! But in terms of Swing Dancing I now have NO problem (or almost no problem) walking up to someone and asking them to dance.

Where did the chronic pain come from? What can you do to relieve your pain?

As I stated above, my chronic pain affects my every day life as it is a reoccurring pain in my legs. It caused by uneven arches in my feet and when I went to go get it figured out I found out my one leg is carrying about 70% (cant remember exactly) of my body weight when I stand as opposed to having it distributed evenly. (So you can see there the pain comes from)

Essentially my pain relief comes with doing some stretches for my legs and feet as well as just not walking around and putting my feet up when I can. Other than that there isn’t much to be done.

Why do you dance if it hurts?

I keep doing dance because its honestly something I love and am passionate about. Swing Dance has helped me become more confident in myself and has also made me happier – as well as that I’ve gotten to know some amazing people who I now can call my friends.

 “Whats your point in telling me this, Adriana?” – well. Let me tie this all together here.

Basically my point is no matter what, do what you want to do or have dreamed of doing.

Don’t let anything hold you back whether it be mental or physical.

If there is something you truly love and are passionate about you will find a way to do it. For me that love and passion is swing dance.

For you it might be dance as well.

Or music.

Or painting.

No matter what it is, you can do it. If you just have faith in yourself and find the determination to reach for your dreams.

Achieve your goals.

If you set your mind to it you can do anything no matter what ‘limitations’ people tell you you have.

Long Distance Relationships – The Real Thing ft. My Boyfriend

So fun fact about me: I’m in a long distance relationship. This is a collab post with my boyfriend to give you a little insight to what that might be like.

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Also by the way, so there is no confusion as to who is talking as it’s a collaborative post between Kolton and I, if you see colored text then it’s my boyfriend.

 

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So I figure I should start off this post telling you a bit about how Kolton and I met. We actually didn’t meet until almost a year after we met…if that makes any sense at all. (She means in person) Kolton and I first met through our school board. We were both in an online homeschooling program for high school and that’s how we ‘met.’

 

Okay. So Adriana didn’t tell the whole story here.

 

Well sorry. Was trying to give you the opportunity to do some storytelling here too…

 

Yeah yeah sure you were. Okay, so here is the real story about how we ‘met’. So one day after I was done my classes, one of my friends and I decided to see how many people we could invite to a group chat before the system crashed. (#thejoysofonlineschooling ) I’m fairly certain we had over 50 people in the chat. Nevertheless, Adriana was one of the people who got invited. The chat was complete chaos but someone mentioned Skyrim (a game both Adriana and I love) and we went onto a private chat and started talking and we have been talking every single day since then. THERE THAT IS THE STORY!!!!

 

Well…That’s the story (basically) of how we met summed up. We didn’t meet in person until May 2015 (a little over 6 months after we first started talking) at a youth conference called YC and the rest is history basically. You will kinda figure out a little bit more as this post goes on but today, Kolton and I wanted to talk to you about what (for us) a long distance relationship looks like.

 

 

So one thing we wanted to discuss is: What does our relationship looks like on a daily basis?

  • Lots and lots of text messages and lovey dovey emoji 
  • Random and spontaneous video chats.
  • Constantly missing the other person and hoping that they are doing well.
  • Wondering if the other person misses you as much as you miss them.
  • Days we do get together are either meticulously planned or consist of no planning what so ever there is no in between.

 

 

What have you learned from being in a long distance relationship?

Well in all honesty, Kolton and I have only been dating since June but I mean we have known each other for about two years now and have liked each other for a fair chunk of that time. We both just decided not to rush into a relationship as when we met he lived 16 hours north of where I lived.

Here is a list of Pros and Cons we put together to show what we have learned from a LDR.

Pro:

  • The time we spend together is special and greatly cherished as it is few and far between whereas if we lived a lot closer we would spend more time together and it wouldn’t be as big of a thing when we spend time together (if that makes sense)

Con:

  • The amount of times we see each other is very little compared to seeing each other all the time if we lived in the same place. In result it makes things very difficult. (since we started dating we have seen each other twice once near the end of summer and once in the middle october)

 

 

Pro:

  • You talk a lot and communicate very well. In that sense you’re able to build a stronger relationship with each other over time because of the distance and the constant communication.

Con:

  • Sometimes you just really don’t care about the ‘stronger’ relationship aspect of distance because you just want your boyfriend/girlfriend right here, right now and you wanted them here yesterday

 

 

 

Pro:

  • As many of you probably know Adriana is a Christian, and no one probably knows that I am a Christian as well. This is something that we both were looking for in a partner and something I would not have been able to find without going into a Long distance relationship.

Con:

  • The only con for that one ( ^^) is really just ‘Long Distance’ HAHA

 

 

Something I get asked often (I can’t speak for Kolton) is that people have asked me why I chose to be in a long distance relationship and how I manage it… So before we end this post I just wanna highlight that aspect. 🙂

 

 

So how do you do it? It must be sooooooooooooooo hard.

I honestly love when I get asked if I have a boyfriend. Why?

      1. Because I get to brag about my boyfriend and how awesome he is

And

  1. I get to watch the shock and horror on their face when I tell them I’m in a long distance relationship…. Especially when Kolton and I lived 16 hours from each other. People’s reactions were priceless! They literally resemble something like this GIF I posted below:

giphy


I choose a long distance relationship because to me it’s not about where the person you love is to me it’s about who you love and my girlfriend has the qualities that I have found to be extraordinarily attractive and ones that in this world are found few and far between. I have fallen in love with her and she is one in which i see myself to have a future with beyond dating (which should be the real true reason you date someone
(truth)) and to be it’s a huge bonus that she is super attractive. *winky face*

Long distance may be hard but if you find the right person at the end of the day it is totally worth it. No matter if you are 2 hours apart or 20 however much you put into the relationship that is what you are going to get out of it. If you truly like or love this person and you truly see a future with them you will make it work similar to people in a ‘normal’ relationship. You cherish the time you spend together and you await the next visit. The final thing you do is hope for the day when you never have to be a part again. That’s what Adriana and I do. Isn’t that right, babe?   

Totally true. Also I know that I personally get the question a ton about how we make it work and really it’s the same as what any relationship should be like. You put in what you get out of it. (I already made that point you nugget) With the long distance, he and I have to make that extra effort to communicate and just make our relationship work BUT I feel like it should be the same in any relationship no matter the difference. Really the only difference between a LDR is just the long distance. Really everything else is and should be the same as any other relationship.